I'm Blogging... GASP!
It's 12:07am on a Sunday night and it is a RARE occasion for me to be up at this hour. But sadly... even though it felt OH so good.. I took a 2 hour nap today after church and now it's payback.
Something I've learned lately. I love alone time. As I've gotten older I've become more intraverted (I know that is probably incorrect spelling but that was my shot at it)... which is weird because allll growing up I was SUPER out-going and loved meeting new people. Now? Not so much. Maybe it's because of my job. I can do 1 on 1 all day long (and I do), and I love it. But I think within my 8 hour period of work I have fulfilled my small talk quota for the day. Maybe it's because my husband is a little bit quieter when you first meet him (and boy does that change in a matter of minutes)... But I don't like it much. I've even experienced some social anxiety (I know this may be shocking to some).. but it's just how I've become. And really I'm totally okay with it. Don't get me wrong I love people and I love my friends and I love my family. And I love making good new friends. But I really appreciate my alone time these days...
We are now living in the same household as my mom, step dad and little brother. This can be fun at times but I've realized that Bobby and I rarely are alone in our home let alone ME being alone... I don't know how I feel about this. Ok ok I don't really love it all that much. But for this reason a few things have become neccessary.... Date nights. FOR SURE. And I really appreciate the time I spend driving to and from work, and even an occasional movie by myself.
I watched the movie "Eat Pray Love" the other day (by myself :)) and although I don't agree with some of the thoughts in this book/movie I really enjoyed it. It's about finding yourself and loving who you were are and will be. Finding that balance in your life. As I've thought about this I've thought about the different priorities in my life and what comes first, second, etc.. as well as what I need to keep myself sain and eveyone else around me.
1. My relationsihp with God and all that involves keeping me close to him. Church, scriptures, prayer, service.. I can easily say that this is the best part of who I am. I have been blessed with a knowledge and understanding and fire of truth in my heart that can not be denied. Even in the hardest of times, I will be brought to my knees and my heart can be mended.
2. Now this one is tricky. I'm going to go with my husband Bobby. I've often been labeled as selfish or spoiled or whatever the crap you want to call it, but every day I'm learing in my marriage that I have to give him all of myself and find his needs, and try my best to fulfill them. I know that as long as we are doing this for one another (even though my needs may be higher) we can make it through most anything. Call me crazy but in my short experience of 1 year of marriage that is what I've learned.
3. (going back to what I originally was talking about) I need ME time. This is a recent discovery. I was always pretty independent growing up and went through some of the hardest times ALONE. You need your own time to think and sort through the thoughts in your head. I need it for my own sanity, my husbands, and everyone else around me. I think often times this one is linked back to numero uno. My relationship with my higher power. It's when I get a lot of inspiration and spiritual guidance.
I know many couples that are constantly needing to be with each other and don't want to do anything without the other... And though that may be fine for them or for a while, I think it's important to always know WHO YOU ARE so you don't wake up one day completely lost. There's such a balance there, and I know for me it's a daily thing I'm trying to achieve.
4. My career. One day the bigger career for me will be being a Mother. Heaven knows I cannot wait for that day. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would have this desire as strongly as I do now. It brings me to tears on a REGULAR basis, and I know that some of the greatest joys (and hardships) in life are through raising a family. This may not be important to some... some traveling and experiencing the WOOORRRLLDD is what they find as important.. but to me I can't imagine anything more fascinating, exciting, and remarkable as creating life, and raising one to know the rights and wrongs of the world and growing into strong individuals.
Second half is current and that would be my career in the salon. Huge part of my daily balance and it's a passion that I get to fulfill and thankfully it pays the bills! ;) What more could a girl ask for?
5. You named it... dun dun dun Excersize/healthy nutrition. Call my crazy but this is HUGE IN A DAILY BALANCE. It affects our moods, our physical and mental health, and in general how we feel about ourself as a whole. No not everybody (nor myself) needs to be a size 2, but finding a healthy balance in the foods to give your body satisfaction and joy and being in the physical shape that makes you capable of doing things you would like to do. For me that involves Crossfit, Running, and anything physical outdoors. I eat a paleo low-carb diet that I plan on eating the rest of my life. why? BECAUSE ITS GOOD FOR YOU. Don't believe me? check marksdailyapple.com.. or anything on Rob Wolff. This is just 1 opinion but I've tested many waters and this is what makes me happy and is what works for me. I can enjoy life because I feel great. Again... what more could a girl ask for?
I would say there of course is family and friends and hobbies that go into this balance as well. but those were some of the major points I've thought about lately. Balance is so necessary. Life is so good. We should spend less time worrying and more time enjoying.
Monday, September 13, 2010
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3 comments:
I love this post! I have become less outgoing since i have been married also. I LOVE spending time by myself thinking :) i'm so glad you have found balance in your life. It can be a hard thing to do. Love you Kayleen!
Amen sister. Oh, k I just love you. As I was reading this it made me miss our long talks. :( You are one wise woman. This post also made me wish I could have alone time!:) Ha ha, wait until you have kiddos. Just one more challenge for me I guess! I love you K! Sounds like you are doing fantastic! p.s. I think part of your balance should be keeping up on your blog...heehee..just sayin:)
I totally agree with you Kayleen! And thanks for the recommendation in movie because I think my life needs a "balance check" done lately! Reflection sure is nice!
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